A Different Perspective on Trust

Aug 19 / Sherly McLoughlin
One of my most significant challenges was the difficulty in establishing trust—not only in others but also in myself.

This persistent issue has influenced my interactions so often, I’ve lost count. The only way I could describe this discomfort is like a continual state of caution and uncertainty which can be extremely exhausting. And not just that. I can tell you that it leaves you with the inability to make decisions with confidence. It can make you wish someone would make that decision for you. It fogs up your mental vision and jumbles ideas chaotically in your head.  It makes you want to disengage with the situation and the people. But worst of all, it drives you into isolation. At least, this was where I was at with my trust issue.

Albeit, despite the awareness of my trust issues and having had enough of the struggle with trust, which had significantly impacted my relationship with myself, taking away my sense of ease—even in familiar settings, the chance of a meaningful change would remain elusive for some time longer, because I knew it had to start with my own perspective first, and that would take some time.

The perspective I was working with, at the time, was doing me more harm than I thought - or so I thought. Often, the actions that unfolded turned into clashes and conflicts with both others and with me. After a while, it even became something of a normality, until I found that my trust issues had molded me into the confrontational, bitter person that I didn’t want to be. And suddenly, there was an urgency in having to do something about this mindset because I knew that I had to start fostering reciprocal trust if I wanted to see personal growth.   
Then I realized that the core reason I had trust issues, to begin with, was because I wasn’t informed enough about the concept of trust and how it could be regulated so that it serves me well. Too much or too little can be detrimental.  
So I did some investigation of my own which landed me on positive psychology and suddenly, the pieces started coming together.

Firstly, I concluded that I had neglected to acknowledge my own character strengths. Secondly, I needed find out what my character strengths could do for me, which brings me to the third point - I had overlooked the most useful character strength to help me through my trust issues – judgement.
Then I linked judgement and objectivity together. I started to see that if I could learn to look at things objectively, I could regulate emotional responses better, which would help me mitigate a negative cycle triggered by mistrust. And the way to do this is through intentional management of thoughts and emotions. I realised that if I could do that, I would be able to cultivate greater self-assurance and resilience when facing challenges. The greater self-assurance would hold me up while resilience would help me get back up if I was struck by adversities.

Ultimately, I had discerned that the root cause of lack of trust originated within me. Unfortunately, those roots needed some nurturing and fostering because they had dried up and this became my task and mission, and I had a plan.

My new approach would become my intervention. It involved consciously stepping back from situations to consider multiple perspectives before acting. By systematically evaluating different viewpoints, I aimed to establish an informed decision-making process grounded in objectivity rather than emotional bias.

In doing so, over time, I also learned that compassion and empathy, combined with emotional regulation also came into play and that positioned me to make more sound judgements—particularly towards myself. This, in return, enabled me to foster a wiser, more self-aware outlook, creating a much improved experience overall.

Today, when I feel uncertain, distrustful, and lack the confidence and the ability to make the choices, to take the right path, or to do the best with what I have, I call on judgement to help me. The simple notion that judgement is the antidote, the tool, and the mental support which goes everywhere I go and is present in me all the time, empowers me. It motivates me to work towards finding the better version of myself. The version that comes with sound judgement, confidence, and of course, trust.

Which one of your character strengths would you use to help you if you had issues with trust?
Since the emergence of online learning, there has been a discussion on whether online classes are better than traditional classes. There have been competing schools of thought with valid arguments for and against both.

In the case of distance learning, it may be most appropriate at colleges and universities. Research data consistently indicate that students strongly prefer distance education.

Distance learning allows students to balance their other commitments more effectively, at least in cases they are adult learners, commuters, and part-time students. They don’t believe that they sacrifice a quality education for the convenience of utilizing distance learning.

However, both traditional and online learning comes with advantages and disadvantages. When is online learning more convenient than traditional learning? This blogpost indicates the real potential of online learning versus traditional classes.

What is Online Learning?

In online learning, students attend classes on the Internet and involve in real interactions with teachers and students at the other end. Students can attend the curriculum at their own pace and easily access the class from anywhere.

Online Learning is a reality and gradually becoming part of formal education. This educational model appeals especially to anyone who can’t attend a physical faculty or school. Online Learning also hops the national boundaries and is offered for dispersed college students that can have a wider choice of online programs.

How does online learning work? Learning management systems (LMS) provide an accessible exchange of information between professors and students. Τhis way, students can view learning material at their leisure or even attend scheduled conferences or lectures.

Concerning test-taking, learners can submit course assignments through the LMS, participate in a discussion, or submit other tasks. Lastly, professors may provide feedback to the student through comments or emails when using this LMS.
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